Growing up I always knew that something wasn't right, and no one seemed to understand. I clearly remember my first few cycles and what everyone around me called normal menstrual cramps. I thought of them as more like excruciating contracting and twisting of my lower abdominal organs, pain so bad it would almost always make me sick to my stomach. I was in and out the doctor every month and was told I had "dysmenorrhea" defined as excessive menstrual cramps that interfere with daily activity, and was sent home with extra strength aleve and birth control. Well mine didnt just interfere with daily activity, it interfered with weekly activities, relationships due to the lack of understanding, work & school, and my entire life for at least one week every month.
The worst part about it is no one understood, and they still dont understand. In school I found my self missing school and having to explain my absences because I didnt always have a doctors not (bc I couldnt afford to go to the doctor every month for something they really couldnt do much about but feed me drugs). Even the doctors never seemed to take it as serious as I thought they should. I just couldnt understand why my menstrual cramps seemed so much worse than everyone elses, and I began to thing everyone just thought i was being a baby. And it isnt just the monthly cramping, due to the scar tissue attaching itself where ever it wants in my abdomen, I experience cramping and pain about 70% of the time in my abdomen, back, and legs, although its not excruciating - it is annoying and uncomfortable. Also endometriosis makes sex painful which is quite an issue when you are trying to get pregnant. Not only all that....it makes you infertile!
Feeling alone and crazy I began to get bad anxiety every month "waiting" for my menstrual cycle and waiting for the pain........As and adult
with a real GYN they finally started to give me muscle relaxers and pain meds so I would begin taking them a few days ahead of the expected arrival. Unfortunately the meds do little for the pain but sedate me and put everyone around me out of their misery of having to deal with me because i usually dont leave my bed so I cant be the evil, miserable, agitated, PMSing person it makes me. When Im going through this I am willing to do anything to make it stop, including and not limited to a FULL hysterectomy....seriously if I could find a doctor that would do it I would not think twice about not being able to have kids.....
In 2008 I had a surgery to remove and drain large ovarian cysts, and thats when I was officially diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis. The scar tissue had covered my abdomen, and wrapped it self around my organs, particularly my bladder (explaining my frequent need to urinate). Unfortunately, endometriosis can not be seen or verified without surgery. We always thought it was a possibility but I had never been officially diagnosed until my surgery. Post surgery I went through several round of Lupron in hopes to suppress the endometriosis and give my body time to heal ~ you would not believe how happy it made me to be able to go 6 months with no menstrual cramps!!
For the past 9 months while my husband was taking his injections and I was on a "holding" pattern, I insisted I be put back on birth control immediately to avoid the cramps and interference with work (it REALLY sucks using your vacation days bc of cramps :( ). Well I came off last month and yesterday the misery hit me like a ton of bricks.........kinda like my body was paying me back for interfering with its normal cycle. So I felt it appropriate write about my experience with it to hopefully help others understand a little better and let those that struggle with this know they arent alone. We may all be different and it may effect us in different ways but it needs to be know that its real, and we aren't crazy!
So if you are one of those that are lucky enough not to have endometriosis and you know someone that is dealing with this pain and suffering every month please be understanding, and encourage them to have their doctor look into the possibilities of endometriosis.
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