On my dads side, my grandparents are still living and still married!!! I communicate almost on a weekly basis with most of my cousins and I know that I can count on them for anything and call them any time of the day or night. I must credit my grandparents for showing us that unconditional love and support all of our lives and teaching us to have love and compassion. I always tell people that I could be a serial killer and my grandmother would still love me (now dont get me wrong, she might hunt me down and take me out herself but she will do it out of love). But she has taught us although we make mistakes and we may not live and do things the way she would like, we are human and that she will love us through it all and try her best to guide us in the right direction. But what ever direction we choose we always know that our grandparents will be there and give us the guidance or discipline we need to do the right thing. We all try to get together a couple holidays a year, attend birthday parties, and take the kids places together. When tragedy strikes this family comes together without asking questions and we grow stronger by helping each other.
My mom's side...........well that's a completely different story.
My mom has 3 living sisters, and I have 10 cousins from them, and they have about 10 children between them. One of which I do not talk to at all due to her actions and her inability to take responsibility for them, the other two I try to keep in contact with as much as possible. I communicate with a handful of my cousins frequently and try my best to stay in touch with the rest of them even if its a yearly facebook chat. I hate to admit but out of the 10 children of my cousins only 4 of them would know me if they passed me. My grandfather lives about 15 minutes from me and for the last 15-20 years Ive only seen him at funerals or the hospital when someone was sick but he has never showed much interest for being a part of my life. Ive reached out to him several times, even sending a personalized letter inviting him to my wedding in 2005, but he did not show. My grandmother passed away while I was a teenager which began the demise of my mom's family. There was always drama and issues with in the family but my grandmother was always a common denominator and if nothing else kept us grandchildren together. My mom's family also seems to have a genetic trait for mental illness which I think is the fuel for the fire anytime there is a feud. Holidays and birthday parties usually consists of a couple of us and noone even thinks about trying to get us all together because we dont know if we could survive World War 10/aka Thanksgiving dinner. When tragedy strikes this family and we lose someone this family dismantles from the few hinges left....the kids argue with parents, the sisters threaten each other, rumors start flying and everyone become immediately divided. This something I have never understood.
My mom has 3 living sisters, and I have 10 cousins from them, and they have about 10 children between them. One of which I do not talk to at all due to her actions and her inability to take responsibility for them, the other two I try to keep in contact with as much as possible. I communicate with a handful of my cousins frequently and try my best to stay in touch with the rest of them even if its a yearly facebook chat. I hate to admit but out of the 10 children of my cousins only 4 of them would know me if they passed me. My grandfather lives about 15 minutes from me and for the last 15-20 years Ive only seen him at funerals or the hospital when someone was sick but he has never showed much interest for being a part of my life. Ive reached out to him several times, even sending a personalized letter inviting him to my wedding in 2005, but he did not show. My grandmother passed away while I was a teenager which began the demise of my mom's family. There was always drama and issues with in the family but my grandmother was always a common denominator and if nothing else kept us grandchildren together. My mom's family also seems to have a genetic trait for mental illness which I think is the fuel for the fire anytime there is a feud. Holidays and birthday parties usually consists of a couple of us and noone even thinks about trying to get us all together because we dont know if we could survive World War 10/aka Thanksgiving dinner. When tragedy strikes this family and we lose someone this family dismantles from the few hinges left....the kids argue with parents, the sisters threaten each other, rumors start flying and everyone become immediately divided. This something I have never understood.
My mom's sister (my Aunt Tina) is currently in the hospital and is very sick, getting worse by the day. The chaos has already started within the family and it just breaks my heart. This family has delt with so much loss in my lifetime that Im not sure how much more we can take before we all just go our separate ways.
Greg and I are trying so hard to start a family and raise children, it sickens me to sit back and watch "family" be taken for granted. Im baffled at how siblings can disown each other without legit reasoning, kids can disrespect their parents, and how parents can avoid being parents. I try so hard to be the mediator, the counselor, or the one person everyone knows they can always contact for anything, but it gets harder and harder. Usually I just try to intervene with the issues and offer a different perspective even when I feel someone is in the wrong BUT (and I think it has alot to do with my recent struggles to have a family of my own) now i just want to scream and tell everyone to grow up, get a grip, stop being self centered and realize what they are doing to the family. If they really truly don't care then they need to move on and live their own life and quit trying to make everyone else miserable.
As much as they frustrate me and drive me bananas they are all my family and I still love them and will try to support them as much as I can. But at the same time I can not keep allowing myself to get so emotionally invested in this feud/drama as I have plenty of my stress and anxiety on my plate right now. Greg and I WILL have a our own family one day and I hope that our children never have to deal with this.
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