10 things I want people to know about me and infertility
1) This journey makes me feel bi-polar. The emotional roller coaster has been ridiculous, one day Im hopeful, optimistic, excited and the next im depressed, sad, negative, and mentally drained. One day I can enjoy talking about everything and sharing our story and the next I want to slap anybody that asks about it. So I hope that if someone catches me on that bad day they dont take it personal and realize that although we just had a pleasant talk about everything an hour ago doesnt mean I want to talk about it now and please dont misunderstand my emotions and reactions. Im trying to get through these hard times and not inconvenience everyone around me. Please understand if "I just dont feel like" doing things. Usually Ill make some excuse like i have to clean the house or something....and its really nothing personal I just mentally need to be alone.
2) Every time I take a pregnancy test I feel like Im gonna puke while waiting for the results, and every time its negative my heart is broken as if I have lost a part of me. Its the exact same feeling I have felt when I have lost a loved one, except for it happens every single month......the grief is real, and it makes "starting over" and trying again every month very hard. Sometimes it feels like it would be easier to just give up on our dream of having kids. I have never done a pregnancy test when anyone (including Greg) is around. I never want anyone to be around to see that, and its something I feel like is better delt with alone because no one could possibly understand it.
3) Sex.....sure everyone loves sex..
