So I volunteered to go to a "Baby Fast" class...this is a class that my little sister signed up for that provides resources for young parents and supports them in finishing school. So my sister asked me to go with her to the "meeting" to be her support person and I agreed.....well this "meeting" was a group of young parents, their children and some young mothers still expecting, and the parents support team. As if seeing new born babies and pregnant girls everywhere wasnt overwhelming enough, the meeting started off with singing and dancing to nursery rhymes..........then we are broken into groups to discuss a new parent "situation", THEN we are all separated and taken into different rooms ~ moms in one room, dads in one room, and support groups in another. Little did i know this was a "therapy" session. We all went around the room and introduced ourselves and then the question "How did you find out about the baby?".....what i heard was....How did you find out that your 17 year old little sister that you raise through most of her teenage years was pregnant? Well.....that brought back soooo many emotions.... and memories....
My little sister came to live with me in 2008, the same year as my laproscopic surgery/ovary removal and the beginning of our quest to have children. In 2009 when she began to be a full blown teenager, doing crazy teenage stuff and experimenting with everything, I became aware that it was possible that she may be or become sexually active. So through many conversations I made it VERY clear, that the worst thing she could do was come home pregnant.....and of course she probably thought I was just being the super overprotective sister but the real reason was I was not sure how I would handle such a situation....of course just thinking of my sister getting pregnant at such young age scare me, BUT what scared me more was I didnt know how I would react.....I was so scared that I would be too angry, too jealous, and have so much animosity towards her and the baby....I was so scare I wouldnt be able to control my anger and emotions and it would turn into a bad situation. Just the thought that she could come home pregnant made me sick to my stomach....
And back my answer to the question in the baby class "therapy session" Well the day came that I got the phone call.......
.its my 17 year old sister who is now emancipated from her mom.....I honestly dont remember the conversation....I remember 1000 things going through my head....I remember thinking I cant be mad bc she is technically an "adult", but I remember thinking she is just a baby...I was so scared for her...she seemed so happy about it...and I just remember thinking "she has no clue what is about to happen and how everything is about to change"... but then i remembered I have another niece or nephew coming into this world and I need to make sure this baby has the best opportunity possible.
The first baby class was an eye opener into the world of those babies who have babies, those teenagers that I have felt ill feelings towards because of their irresponsibility and lack of reality. It was interesting to have a look into the inside of these teenagers lives, and hearing all sides of the "pregnancy". At the end of the day like it or not these babies are coming and did not ask to be brought into this world. So as the "Baby Class Mentors" would say, its all for the "sake of the baby". All I can do now is support my sister, the baby that is coming and help guide her into making better choices so that we dont have baby #2 popping up anytime soon.
I get so overwhelmed with baby stuff and watching everyone else with their families. So many emotions are involved in this life of infertility, but I can never let it interfere with my relationships with the kids around me.....truth is I adore all of the babies and children in my life and they truly fill a huge void in my life.
So 7 more weeks of this baby class.....Im sure you will hear all about them! In the meantime, say hello to a few of the amazing kiddos who each have a piece of my heart <3
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| Evelyn |
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| Coming Soon ~ Kahmayah!! |
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| Mikaila |
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| Titus |
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