Day 1 of National Fertility Awareness Week, and Easter Sunday. Usual morning cup of coffee and facebook stalking....however today is different, its another one of those "holidays" that I fight back the emotion as I watch everyone wake up to the excitement of their children, getting them all dressed up for church and the daily festivities. I become jealous of everyone that gets to experience this and find myself getting a little angry and overwhelmed and just want to crawl into bed and stay there all day and wait for this day to be over. Some holidays are harder than others, today I just keep thinking that I get to go to my grandma's house (my little happy place over the river and through the woods - literally!), I get to spend the day with my parents, siblings, and all of my nieces. Then I realize its gonna be worse if I decide to stay in bed and watch the pictures of my nieces pop up in my facebook feed instead of being there with them. So Im up, cooking my designated dishes for Easter dinner, getting ready to go pick up my sister and niece, and will just have to suck it up. Ill have all night to be depressed and sad, while I cuddle up with my husband, my doggies and a bottle of wine.
Starting tomorrow, I will have to rebuild my courage to share my story and my blog publicly as very few people close to me know about this. My husband knows about it and Ive showed it to him (months ago) but Im sure he has thought nothing else of it since them, and I really dont discuss the blog with him. But I think its important that I do share it, I know there are so many in our lives that we dont keep updated are curious but afraid to ask. I also know that the few that know arent really sure how to react to it, how to bring it up, or what questions to ask which causes an awkwardness when around them. Of course I have been saying for a long time that I was going to share it, so we will see what happens.
Happy Easter everyone!!! Rant is complete, tears have stopped, now back to cooking and getting ready for a day full of family and easter eggs!
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